Anxiety

Took almost $500 to bail Erin out of her most recent financial crisis. Having a lot of anxiety about that. Hmm....wonder why? Feel like a chump? Yup. Nicole drove up today, and had planned on having a great day with her. She started in telling me some very disturbing things about Dane. Things I could have died not knowing. I would love to move her out of that house tomorrow and back home. I just don't think she deserves that kind of relationship. However, like she said, he could have worse habits. Yes, this is true. But, this is also disturbing to me. Definately changes my feelings about him. Who can I share this with? Nobody. So, more anxiety.

Snow

Ok, so yet another 10" of snow over the last 24 hours. Enough already!! My arms are twanging tonight, and my hands are stiff. It was a productive day. Unfortunately, I'll not be getting my car fixed tomorrow. Erin claims to have to be at work by 8am. I don't really want to worry about getting to/from tomorrow anyway. Hope the damn thing starts in the morning.

Over drawn

Erin got an over-draft notice on Thursday. Found this in the mail after I gave her $40 to play darts. She told me earlier today that she put part of that $40 in her gas tank. Tonight she calls and asks to use my car?? Why?? "Because mine only has 1/4 tank of gas in it". I ask, "where are you going?" She replied "just over to Val's". I told her I'd rather give her $20 than loan her my car. When she came over I asked her how "over drawn" she was? "I don't know, I'm afraid to look". I give her another $30 and tell her to put all of it in her gas tank. Expecting her to go to Casey's when she left, she headed up hill. Hope she doesn't drink that $30 up instead. She tells me that she gets paid on Tuesday. I hope there is money left over when she deposits her checks. I am not paying her rent. She tells me she has been irresponsible. I AM SICK OF THIS SHIT.

A Week Out

A little over a week since Bill has been gone and I'm doing OK. Still really worried about Erin and her lack of ambition to settle down and grow up, but it's early. I just keep thinking "I was married and had a full time job by the time I was 21". She has nothing to show for her 21 years. Not even a degree. Just dependency on me and a big financial burden. The studen loans should be starting to come in now. Wonder how she plans to pay those off?

Nicole is living in a 100 year old farm house that is a haven for mice. I am not happy about that - but - I don't have to live there. Dane has had the flu and I'm not happy about that either as they both could have gotten the flu shot and avoided that shit.

I'm quite bored tonight, and sleepy too. Gotta figure out why I keep waking up at 4 or 4:30am.

Been a long time

Been a long time since I wrote in here. It's mostly a bitch session on paper. (so to speak) Complain, complain.

I need a place now that I can unload on. Nobody here to listen to me gripe and sometimes my gripes are not justified, and down right selfish. What the hell is wrong with me?