Hateful People

My boss hates me, and I've really no idea why. I know I'm not always the MODEL employee--mostly losing my temper when I feel used, or taken advantage of. But I'm not supposed to get mad. I'm supposed to address the issue with them calmly and professionally. I usually try that, once or twice. When the same stuff keep happening over, and over, and over, I get torked. Last time I got torked, she twisted the situation around 360 degree's, so that I was basically complaining about my job that I am paid to do? WTF?? When I reminded her that it is also the responsibility of the clinician to do their paperwork (instead of me having to nag them about it) she accused me of "deflecting".

Still no word about major staffing changes, so on Monday I sent an email to the head of the department to despel the rumors. I also CC'd her. As of yesterday afternoon, NOTHING. NOT ONE WORD. What's worse, is that she was down talking/visiting with everyone. She made sure we had no eye contact, and that she was busy if she thought I might speak to her first. Long before this incident she was acting the same way, very cool--avoidant, etc.

So, this hurts me. Hurts me bad. I don't deserve to be treated like this. GET A NEW JOB, you say. Well, not so easy in this piss-ass town of 24K. Next major city is 90 minutes away.

I don't know what to do. I searched on-line today at the job service site. Nothing. Wish I had a little more job skills. And, a college degree. Back in my day 1980---while important, one could still find a pretty decent job with benefits. Mind you, I had no intentions of getting rich. Now, I wish I had a trade just so I could excercise my options. Unemployment is not an option.

College education, that's a whole 'nuther blog. Maybe later on tonight.

Happy fucking new year!!

Communication

Communication, seems so easy--yet few people get the impact of poor communication. People don't care, and they are allowed NOT to care where I work. NOT CARING is a trait that is coveted! So, the consequences of you NOT CARING about the quality of work that you do, or caring about the kind of co-worker you are wreak havoc each and every day. Some days are worse than others. Today, no exception.

So, I've run the schedule for tomorrow and as I hurry to get my s**t done (because I have a doctor appointment) I check-out all the charts needed. When reviewing the schedule for one particular employee it is showing that 98% of her appointments are "memo"---which means they are "not confirmed". So, I ask the receptionist if she knows anything about this? To which she responds, "they're being rescheduled". I ask, so--which ones is she seeing tomorrow? Another co-worker standing there pipes in to say "none of them, and you need to go speak with "kim" because she is rearranging that schedule". I JUST LOVE TO DO MY WORK TWICE, EVEN THREE TIMES!! Miss "Kim" is conveniently on the phone--unavailable.

Seething now, the receptionist tells me "well I got an email that I assumed everyone did"? Stupid is as stupid does. That email only went to the front desk and to the admissions department. (cc: supervisor)

Maybe they'd like to pull charts from now on beings its not important that I know of any scheduling changes.

I decided (since time was running out for me) stamp them out for tomorrow and put them on the clinicians schedule like I never even noticed. When she approaches me tomorrow, I'll try to bite my tongue. I'll do the same when Miss "KIM" decides I probably should know too.

Wonder if Mr. Charles will respond to my 9:30am email asking him to verify the rumor of his leaving and --- would he share with me his last day so that I might let him know of this unfinished paperwork? Nothing today.

Finally got the attention of Dr. P. by copying the E.D. asking when I can expect one of her employee's to have their paperwork done. I've only been asking for it since October.

You mark my word, I'll be the one in trouble because I spoke up. Because I've got the balls to call them like I see them. That place will fail with the idiots they have in charge now. Once again my boss is on vacation ---but could she let me know?? Surely not!! I have to find out from someone else. (and notice her car is not in its usual parking place)

Communication....who needs it.

Family, Kids and Work

Sunday after Christmas, and I'm glad as hell it's over. (Christmas) It's been one of the hardest in my LIFE. I'm fighting continually with my college age daughter, and come tomorrow the TOUGHEST LOVE of all is going to be displayed by me. This might appear to her as a "Come to Jesus". (she's pretty close) She's not speaking to me much, and does absolutely nothing around here. When we do speak it's very short sentences and short answers.

I'm convinced she's depressed but I can not help her. I'll offer to help if I can but she has to make the move. I am all done supporting her bad habits, and being used.

Not getting along all that well with the high school age daughter either. But I think that's just a phase, and I have to be strong and make sure she knows who's still boss around here. (me or Dad)

Getting along fair with my husband, but that also changes on a daily basis.

Probably just me, all the time. Yep, I'm a martyr. I'm vindictive, I'm always "pitching a hissy". Wonder how I've been aloud to be a wife and mother for the last 25+ years?

Feeling sorry for myself, yup? PMS, probably?